What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
