North Korea, Best Korea!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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