Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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