He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
