with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
