Can i not drive my cunt home
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
