Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
