I swear she didn't look like that last week.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
