After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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