Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
