I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We had sex on a dog bed..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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