We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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