I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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