so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
