"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
