me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
