I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
