I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize