Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
