Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
