You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
