Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
