I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
