I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
