You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
