Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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