wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize