i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
