Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
