The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
