i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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