Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
