Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize