dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ketchup is God's man juice
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
