Soap is not a condiment
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
