he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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