dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
