is your mom at the bar?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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