The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
