He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
