GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
