I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
