are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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