How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
