So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
