i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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