Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
high people should be assigned attendants
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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