a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
