Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize