Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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