Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
