and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
