You're my little dorito
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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