What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
