the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
