Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
