i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
