Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
