You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
FUCK WHALES
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