That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
