I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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