By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
