STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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