Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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