Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
