Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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