Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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