i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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