We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize