My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
