1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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