Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
