yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Small penises have feelings too.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
